Scott the Angry Jew
Lost Souls
The title itself is as nonsensical as the movie, as there is no mention of any ’souls’ anywhere in the film, and the only thing that gets ‘lost’ is 90 minutes of your valuable life span.
Get Carter
Pretend your wife (or husband) cooks for you, and one day makes a meal that you despise. But not only is the meal awful, but your lack of interest has helped to create about a week’s worth of leftovers.
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
OK, I’ve seen a LOT of movies throughout my life. That’s not to say that I’ve necessarily seen more than YOU (I have), but let’s just say that a video rental store is completely useless to me, except for the New Release section.
The Crew
This is not a funny movie. While many films would consider that a form of praise, it’s safe to assume that a comedy movie is shooting for a stronger endorsement. While the awful script makes it pretty obvious when you’re supposed to be laughing, it simply isn’t engaging or entertaining at all. This crew of […]
Bats
I like watching people get eaten. In addition to porn, I also like watching people get eaten by monsters. Pick your phylum, it’s all good: rats, bats, cats, gnats, snails, quails, gerbils in the habitrails, germs, worms, alien sperms, hares, bears, or people from under the stairs. If someone’s getting bit, watch where I’ll sit.
The Astronaut’s Wife
This movie is so damn slow, I think I got younger as I watched it. What is it with these pretentious big-budget “thrillers”? Why are they so afraid to actually try and scare people?
The Haunting
The Haunting is like this really cool toy you’ve seen on TV, with all the gadgets and lights and sounds, but when you open the box and stick your hand in, it’s nothing but moldy cheese and smelly shit.
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