Octavia Driftwood
The Story of Us
“Kind of like ‘The Story of O’, only completely different….”
Well, I’ll be a greased Jesus! Bruce Willis stars in yet another gastly movie! Whatta ya know? Sure, he briefly drifted away from his “suck” roots when he made “The Sixth Sense”, a critical and box office hit (Hell, even I liked it. The little boy […]
Snake Eyes
Before I enter into the world of pain that is Nicholas Cage, I have to answer a letter that was recently sent to me. But first, a little background…
Gloria
Greetings from the trailer. Hope all is well with my legions of readers. I’m fine. The pubic lice are dying quite nicely. Thanks for all the concerned fan mail.
The Lightning Round
OK, kids. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands recently, what with the house arrest, and the fact that I lost my job at the White Castle. So I’ve been watching the hell out of Pay Per View lately.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Before I start ripping Jennifer Love Hewitt a new poop chute, I thought I’d answer a fan letter:
Meet Joe Black
Since I’m new here at moviesthatsuck.com, our publisher wanted to make sure the first movie I reviewed was one of such abhorrent nature it would harden me for years to come, thereby making it possible for me to withstand any shitty movie that comes my way.
Categories
