Octavia Driftwood
Unbreakable
OK, so I know I haven’t been reviewing movies lately. I’ve been out of the trenches for nearly a year, writing the highly successful “Ask Octavia” column, which has earned me quite the impressive salary (roughly $0, American)
The Love Letter
Question: Do you know what I like in a good romantic comedy? First of all, SOME comedy, and at least a LITTLE touching romance. “The Love Letter” offers neither of these…
Wild Wild West
After sitting through this “Wild Wild Waste” on HBO last night, I almost didn’t even take the time to write a review on it. I thought, “Surely to Heaven we already feature this piece of monkey dung on the website.”
Man On The Moon
I’ve recently had to resign to the fact that I just am apparently not HIP enough to get Andy Kaufman. Sure, when I was a little girl growing up in various truckstops I would watch the show “Taxi”, and thought his cute little character Latka was funny, what with his funny voice and googly eyes […]
Jawbreaker
Oh, Dear God….where do I begin? Perhaps I should begin by saying that Rose McGowan (the bug-eyed slit who is currently Marilyn Manson’s suck puppet) couldn’t give a believable acting performance even if she were held at gunpoint. But more about her later…
Drive Me Crazy
Uh…When did Melissa Joan Hart get chubby? Did I miss a meeting? I wasn’t informed of this. So I was blind-sided when I saw her in “Drive Me Crazy” and realized that the reason they produced this DVD in widescreen to accomodate her ever expanding ass.
Out of Towners
Before I begin this scathing vitriol on a movie so incredibly appalling that I wanted to close my eyes and ears and go “Hmmmm, La La…Hmmmm, I’m not listening…la la la…”, I wanted to say hello to some friends in Australia. So, uh…hello.
The Muse
Ouch. This one hurt a little. I love Albert Brooks, so the fact that I’m about to tear his movie apart causes a bit of salt water to well-up in my eyes (not the glass one, though; I lost all feeling in that eye socket after the light bulb incident…never mind, I don’t want to […]
10 Things I Hate About You
This will be short, but sweet kids. Here are the 10 things I hated about “10 Things I Hate About You”
For The Love of The Game
So, Kevin Costner makes yet another dumbass baseball movie, eh? Well, I’m truly thankful that he has done this. Seriously. I was hurting for something to review this week, so this putrid waste of 138 minutes was just the remedy I needed.
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