Man On The Moon

I’ve recently had to resign to the fact that I just am apparently not HIP enough to get Andy Kaufman. Sure, when I was a little girl growing up in various truckstops I would watch the show “Taxi”, and thought his cute little character Latka was funny, what with his funny voice and googly eyes and all. But then again, I thought the shows “Hello Larry” and “The Ropers” were an out and out, shit-your-pants laugh riot. So what the hell did I know? Continue reading

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Gone in Sixty Seconds

Jerry Bruckheimer sucks ass.

He makes movies, the kind which make me want to stab random people in the neck with a butter knife. Continue reading

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Dog Soldiers

Written & Directed by Neil Marshall, Starring Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd & Emma Cleasby.
Run Time – 104 mins Continue reading

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Battlefield Earth

The story goes like this; it is the year 3000. The planet earth has been dominated by the Psychlos. A race of beings that are supposed to be a terrifying menace to all who oppose them. Instead, they look like a Klingon reggae band. John Travolta plays an alien boss who oversees the security aspect of the Psychlo mining colony. Continue reading

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American Psycho

Starring Christian Bale, Jared Leto, Willem Defoe, Samantha Mathis, Reese Witherspoon. Written and Directed by Mary Harron. Continue reading

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Fight Club

I’ve waited to write a review of “Fight Club” for weeks. Occasionally I discuss reviews I’m planning with friends. When I mentioned “Fight Club” I got reactions similar to what you’d expect if I was putting Godfather Part 2 in the guilloutine. As a matter of fact, a certain individual (who shall remain nameless) accused me of such. Continue reading

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The Mummy

The cuneiform writings warned of a 3000 year old curse…

A curse that brought with it a plague of boredom, characterized by chronic yawning, festering ass boils, and frequent testicle re-shiftage… Continue reading

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Jawbreaker

Oh, Dear God….where do I begin? Perhaps I should begin by saying that Rose McGowan (the bug-eyed slit who is currently Marilyn Manson’s suck puppet) couldn’t give a believable acting performance even if she were held at gunpoint. But more about her later… Continue reading

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Top 10 List

I was meditating the other day. Whilst contemplating the meaning of Yanni, Guru Sebastian Bach appeared before me. He told me that Hollywood hates us and Gary Coleman is the anti-christ. I feverishly wrote down this apparition’s words. Continue reading

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Teaching Mrs. Tingle

What has the intellectual punch of a Bon Jovi song, the intricate plotting of the movies Presumed Impotent and Womb Broom 2, and the stark realism of a WWF wrestling match? The answer is, of course, Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Continue reading

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