The Rock

This film would’ve been better titled “The Cock,”, ’cause boy does it chug a big one. As I sat watching this atrocity, I wondered aloud how they ever got competent actors like Sean Connery, Ed Harris, and Nicholas Cage to sign on the dotted line for this one. Continue reading

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Road House

Could there possibly be a more ridiculous mainstream movie ever written, produced, and released than Road House? It is the creme de la creme of suck. God, I love this film! Why? Probably because I conceived Road House when I was in 6th grade. Continue reading

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187

The title for this film is taken from the police code for “homicide.” After watching it however, 187 is now our code for “real shitty movie.” The credits for this movie say that it was written by a teacher. If this is true, I must conclude that it was written by the shop teacher. Continue reading

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Eyes Wide Shut

What do you get when you cross cinematic midget Tom Cruise with obsessive-compulsive has-been (now worm food) Stanley Kubrick? Continue reading

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