Shaft (2000)

Samuel L. Jackson, Vanessa L. Williams, Jeffrey Wright, Christian Bale, Busta Rhymes, Dan Hedaya, Toni Collette, Richard Roundtree Directed by John Singleton

Who is the man that they should have left as a 70’s movie icon?

SHAFT

(Can you dig it?)

Which is the film which promises so much but gives so little?

SHAFT

(Ooooh Baby)

Which has a badly filmed plot that no one would have made but his woman?

SHAFT

(Damn Right)

Whose an unnecessarily violent man just because they wanted to make him like his uncle

SHAFT

This film is one BAD muthafu- SHUT YOUR MOUTH

But IÕm talkinâ Ôbout the new Shaft movie

Then I can dig it!!!!!

To save you the pain of this, and if you have little time to read this all – Three words for you. WATCH THE ORIGINAL!

Generally I donÕt like to compare remakes or sequels to the originals as itÕs a bit like comparing ex-girlfriends in bed. They are generally doing the same thing except they have their own way of doing it and feelÉwellÉdifferent. With Shaft, itÕs a little like shagging sisters. Sure they come from the same family and they have the same look, but hell, one is damn fine, but the other leaves you to feel like you still need have a wank after sheÕs fallen asleep. Something is still missing.

The movie does have some good lines that keep in touch with the original, “ItÕs my duty, to satisfy yoÕ booty!” But a lot of the script is subversive jargon. Something I can see and reel on the screen but something I can never use. I attribute this to the fact I am English and therefore unable to fit into the Shaft 2000 script issue simply for the way it would sound. For example:

They say – “Wassup ma dawg, dat bitch be playinâ widjoo man!” I say “WhatÕs the matter my dog. That bitch seems to playing with you my friend.”

They say, “Shit nigga, Shaft, oooh da man? Yeah baby, YOU da man.” I say “ShitÉerÉShaft,ÉerÉwell done mateÉer”

In the original at least I was able to relate to the character. Especially when “Linda” says, “You know Shaft, youÕre real good in the sack, but youÕre really shitty the morning after!”

At least in Shaft 2k it was refreshing to see Richard Roundtree return as Shaft. In the short few minutes on the screen, he oozed more charisma and chemistry than Sam L Jackson managed right through it.

Briefly IÕll explain the plot, Shaft is called to investigate a racist attack at a pub. ItÕs obvious that the son of a wealthy property tycoon, Christian Bale, is guilty. There is only one witness (Toni Collette) but she goes underground. When the victim dies and Bale is allowed bail (?) Shaft is determined to get him. Bale skips bail and fucks off to Switzerland for 2 years, when he re enters the country, Shaft rearrests him and puts him to trial. Again Bale gets bail and Shaft hands in his badge and gun and decides to go it alone. Bale hires a small time dope dealer to kill Toni Collette, and Shaft is trying to find her to protect her. Throw in a few crooked cops and Busta Rhymes (Woooohaa) for comic effect and you have the plot.

Its shit, but not from the word go. They still have Isaac Heyes pumping the lovin soundtrack throughout the film which is a godsend. Miss this on the cinema and save £5, avoid it on video and save £4. Take your £9 to the nearest CD retailer and buy the soundtrack as it is the only decent association with the original film.

One final thing – I da man baby, I gotta slide bitch, ma dawgs be waiting for me to hustle, word up, one time and respect!

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