Hollow Man

Shiva, Vishnu, and Khali!! You could see through the plot of this steaming pile of cow shit better than Kevin Bacon’s Hollow Man character; cocky scientist invents a way to turn shit invisible and back, decides to endrun the government and try the shit on himself, shit turns him invisible but shit doesn’t turn him back. He goes into psychotic rage. Ends up stalking and killing colleagues in amazingly gory sequences before dying in equally gory manner….THREE FUCKING TIMES!

Like this anal suckfest didn’t have every stereotype known to man. I weep for Elizabeth Shue, who has fallen SO far since Leaving Las Vegas that it’ll probably only be a year before we see her in a sequel to Adventures In Baby Sitting or Cocktail 2. She delivers her lines so mechanically that I’m sure they had a cue card guy just outta camerashot.

Paul Giamatti, who impressed the shit outta me in Man on the Moon, equally depressed me in this crapola-fest. Finally, there’s Kevin Bacon who must have a clause in his contract that states he MUST show off his cock at least once a movie in SOME form or another (I can understand why Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winfield swears off swine.) I have to admit, Bacon does the only believable acting job of the entire film. I give the exhibitionist bastard kudos for playing his character to the hilt and for being far and away the most entertaining member of the cast. Although he killed a dog. THAT pisses me off.

Of course there’s the rest of the scientific stereotypical gang of idiots: The Peta Poster Girl, The attitude-laden Soul Sistah, The Starry Eyed Kid-Rookie and, of course, The Love Interest who’s about as interesting as a jug of milk.

The premise, the acting, and the directing (Paul Verhoven, go fuckin’ figure) are all as hollow as the title. The mind-blowing detail in the special effects (the ONLY positive thing in this shit storm), is the ONLY thing these fuckers got right.

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