Top 10 List

I was meditating the other day. Whilst contemplating the meaning of Yanni, Guru Sebastian Bach appeared before me. He told me that Hollywood hates us and Gary Coleman is the anti-christ. I feverishly wrote down this apparition’s words.

10. John Leguizamo

09. Trey Parker & Matt Stone are funny, famous, and still make movies for TROMA (Cannibal the musical, Orgazmo).

08. Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats) has better ideas than Coppolla.

07. Police Academy 1 through 6.

06. With the advent of camcorders, home porn has better acting.

05. Jackie Chan makes American actors look like pussies.

04. Spice World

03. We remember Mark Wahlberg when he was “Marky Mark”.

02. We saw “Water World”, all five of us that is.

And the number one reason Hollywood hates us……….

01. We won’t let em’ film “Road House 2”.

Feel free to email your comments to “The Amish One”. Master Origami will try to solve your problems, answer questions, or just bitch and complain.

Some of you might be saying to yourselves, “Hey! What gives? Why isn’t “The Big O” trashing a movie?”. THAT’S BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SOLD ENOUGH CORN TO SINNERS LIKE YOU, SO I CAN’T AFFORD A TICKET. THEY ALSO WON’T LET ME BACK IN AT THE DRIVE-IN SINCE MY HORSE SHIT IN SOMEBODY’S CONVERTIBLE!!!

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