Blue Streak

Can anyone tell me why Martin Lawrence is famous? It can’t be because he’s funny, since he clearly is not. Perhaps he blew Eddie Murphy with the understanding that Eddie would make him famous by sticking him in a few movies. I just don’t get it. His sitcom sucked, his stand-up act sucks, and his movies suck (with the possible exception of “Boomerang”. There; I said something positive. Happy?).

Lawrence keeps in his suck-ass movie tradition with Blue Streak. It must be difficult and tiring to make shitty movie after shitty movie after shitty movie. You gotta give him points for consistency. Even if it’s because he consistantly makes movies that would make Ed Wood go, “God Damn! What was THAT?”

In this atrocity, Lawrence plays Miles Logan, a jewel thief. Things go wrong while he’s stealing a huge diamond in L.A. (for those of you in the southern part of the United States, “L.A.” stands for “Los Angeles”, not “Lower Alabama”). Miles is double-crossed and Miles is arrested, but not before he hides the jewel in an air duct of a building under construction. Two years later, he’s out of prison and he heads for the site: (get ready to die with laughter…yes, I’m being sarcastic.) the building that was under construction is now L.A.’s new police headquarters! (Can’t you just feel the cramping from the laughter? Gee, who saw THAT coming?) Anyway, Miles poses as a cop and gets into the building. But before he can recover the swag, he’s partnered with a naive white detective and sent out to investigate burglaries. (Have you ever noticed that in all of Martin Lawrence’s projects, white people are usually protrayed as if they’re one sandwich shy of a picnic? They’re always stupid. Why is that? Try reversing that scenario. You’d have political groups breathing down your redneck. But I digress…) He attempts to recover the diamond, all the while keeping the cops fooled, and…you know what? Who gives a shit? This movie is horrible, Martin Lawrence is about as funny as an elementary school shooting, and it is my humble opinion that instead of watching this train wreck, your time would be better spent watching…well… an actual train wreck!

Other Martin Lawrence movies to avoid:

Nothing to Lose….(Yeah, except your time and money that it took to rent this crapfest)

Life…….(even Eddie Murphy couldn’t save this movie; it seemed like it lasted longer than life itself)

A Thin Line Between Love and Hate…….(Even a thinner line between awful and God-Awful)

Bad Boys…….(Yeah, I know Will Smith was in it. But it sucked. Get over it.)

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Don’t forget, you can reach me at octavia@moviesthatsuck.com OR you can e-mail me at octaviadriftwood@yahoo.com I love to receive all fan and or hate mail. I wallpaper my trailer with the fan mail and wipe my cat’s ass with the hate mail. Until next time….

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