We’re back, precious!

We’ve been gone from Moviesthatsuck for a long time, and I apologize to anyone who noticed or cared. I think the last time we updated the site, Clinton was still in office. And I was sane. I can’t speak for Rufus, but I had a damn good reason for my sabbatical. I’ve been sitting on the couch for the last two years, listening to Hall and Oates and eating Peeps until I couldn’t see my own cock.

Turns out I was suffering from some sort of sugar-induced depression. And I was even more physically unhealthy than usual. I’d ingested enough Yellow No. 5 food coloring to poison half of Chicago. I’d eaten so many goddamn little marshmallow chickens that my doctor thought I had jaundice and lockjaw. Turns out those little buggers are NOT a substitute for vegetables or anti-depressants.

Well, I’m back in good health now, working in the garden and sparring with my Macaque on a daily basis. I’m lean, mean, and doped up like a 4th grader with ADHD. We think that you will like the new format, and hope that some of the people we know so well will come back and contribute: Fairy Princess, Chris Peddie. Mindy, Tabs, Prozac Man,… you know who you are. We miss you all.