We’ve been gone from Moviesthatsuck for a long time, and I apologize to anyone who noticed or cared. I think the last time we updated the site, Clinton was still in office. And I was sane. I can’t speak for Rufus, but I had a damn good reason for my sabbatical. I’ve been sitting on the couch for the last two years, listening to Hall and Oates and eating Peeps until I couldn’t see my own cock.
Turns out I was suffering from some sort of sugar-induced depression. And I was even more physically unhealthy than usual. I’d ingested enough Yellow No. 5 food coloring to poison half of Chicago. I’d eaten so many goddamn little marshmallow chickens that my doctor thought I had jaundice and lockjaw. Turns out those little buggers are NOT a substitute for vegetables or anti-depressants.
Well, I’m back in good health now, working in the garden and sparring with my Macaque on a daily basis. I’m lean, mean, and doped up like a 4th grader with ADHD. We think that you will like the new format, and hope that some of the people we know so well will come back and contribute: Fairy Princess, Chris Peddie. Mindy, Tabs, Prozac Man,… you know who you are. We miss you all.
You’re dreamy, Abe.
This is the greatest website on the intranets…isweartogod it is.
Hey Abe, it’s good to see you back. I’ve been waiting…Now kick some movie ass. Always, Velvia