Scary Movie

I was hoping this movie would be the funniest spoof since History of the World Part 1. The genre was there: Trendy Horror Flicks. The family was there: The Wayans Family, who cracked me up in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, and Don’t Be A Menace In South Central (While Drinkin’ Your Juice In The Hood.) I was looking forward to the same kinda laughs in Scary Movie.

OH MY GOD DOES THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCK!

The only two saving graces this movie had was that it was under an hour and a half (88 minutes), and the title itself, which was a witty nod to Scream (Scary Movie was the original title). After the title appears, the movie starts downhill and just keeps going. The entire thing was about stretching homosexual innuendo, drug jokes, sex jokes, and dumb killing scenes for the entire run of the movie. Now I admit, homosexual innuendo, drug jokes, sex jokes, and dumb killing scenes *are* funny as hell…but only if they actually succeed in the attempt at being comedy. This piece of shit doesn’t even rank up there as slapstick.

I’d bring up specific examples of where this movie isn’t funny, but if I was gonna do that, I’d just cut and paste the script and that’s not why I get paid the big bucks. I get paid the big bucks for saying this movie sucks. So show me the money: THIS MOVIE SUCKS. It’s not even worth a 99 cent rental or ticket at the dollar movie house. Go rent Tales from the Hood instead. At least that shitfest is funny without trying to be.

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