Monthly Archives: March 2000

Romeo Must Die

It started innocently enough. I heard Jet Li had a new flick out, and I was curious to see what his newest venture had to offer. Mrs. Origami and I jumped into the ol’ horse and buggy and set out … Continue reading

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Pushing Tin

First of all, I really wanted to like this movie. And I tried to. Honestly, I did. Normally, I’m a big fan of John Cusack. But this should have been called “Pushing Stool”; by the time this wretched muck that … Continue reading

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Lethal Weapon 4

The horse is now a red spot. Who is funding this crap and how do we go about stopping it? Now that I pause to think, a better question would be: Is there any way to find and sterilize the … Continue reading

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The Story of Us

“Kind of like ‘The Story of O’, only completely different….” Well, I’ll be a greased Jesus! Bruce Willis stars in yet another gastly movie! Whatta ya know? Sure, he briefly drifted away from his “suck” roots when he made “The … Continue reading

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Boys Don’t Cry

I have to admit my hopes were set kinda high on this one. I mean honestly, lesbians, rednecks, cheap beer, and cows. Sounds like the zany cookouts we have here in Lancaster.

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Mission to Mars

Have you watched college basketball lately? Noticed anything odd? Let me give you a hint…Afros and knee-high tube socks. Yes, what comes around goes around. Heroin is huge. Puma and Adidas are back.

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Mission to Mars

If you substitute “Dead Ass” for the word “Mars” in the title of this movie, you’ve got a good idea what to expect when you watch it. Brian DePalma, this is Houston: Mission to Dead Ass accomplished! This movie is … Continue reading

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Tomorrow Never Dies

Tomorrow never dies… but I wish James Bond would. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of the old 007 flicks. I just think that the recent incarnations have become far too preposterous to go on living. When the … Continue reading

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Gosford Park

So What the Fuck is New? British people repress sexuality and conflict over class in Gosford Park, a murder mystery sans mystery or, for most of the movie, a murder.

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Blue Streak

Can anyone tell me why Martin Lawrence is famous? It can’t be because he’s funny, since he clearly is not. Perhaps he blew Eddie Murphy with the understanding that Eddie would make him famous by sticking him in a few … Continue reading

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