Author Archives: Octavia Driftwood

OK, so I know I haven’t been reviewing movies lately. I’ve been out of the trenches for nearly a year, writing the highly successful “Ask Octavia” column, which has earned me quite the impressive salary (roughly $0, American)

Question: Do you know what I like in a good romantic comedy? First of all, SOME comedy, and at least a LITTLE touching romance. “The Love Letter” offers neither of these…

After sitting through this “Wild Wild Waste” on HBO last night, I almost didn’t even take the time to write a review on it. I thought, “Surely to Heaven we already feature this piece of monkey dung on the website.”

I’ve recently had to resign to the fact that I just am apparently not HIP enough to get Andy Kaufman. Sure, when I was a little girl growing up in various truckstops I would watch the show “Taxi”, and thought … Continue reading →

Oh, Dear God….where do I begin? Perhaps I should begin by saying that Rose McGowan (the bug-eyed slit who is currently Marilyn Manson’s suck puppet) couldn’t give a believable acting performance even if she were held at gunpoint. But more … Continue reading →

Uh…When did Melissa Joan Hart get chubby? Did I miss a meeting? I wasn’t informed of this. So I was blind-sided when I saw her in “Drive Me Crazy” and realized that the reason they produced this DVD in widescreen … Continue reading →

Before I begin this scathing vitriol on a movie so incredibly appalling that I wanted to close my eyes and ears and go “Hmmmm, La La…Hmmmm, I’m not listening…la la la…”, I wanted to say hello to some friends in … Continue reading →

Ouch. This one hurt a little. I love Albert Brooks, so the fact that I’m about to tear his movie apart causes a bit of salt water to well-up in my eyes (not the glass one, though; I lost all … Continue reading →

This will be short, but sweet kids. Here are the 10 things I hated about “10 Things I Hate About You”

So, Kevin Costner makes yet another dumbass baseball movie, eh? Well, I’m truly thankful that he has done this. Seriously. I was hurting for something to review this week, so this putrid waste of 138 minutes was just the remedy … Continue reading →