Author Archives: Retardo Montalban

The Blair Witch Project

While the concept of The Blair Witch Project is genuinely original, the movie itself hardly deserves such praise as “scariest movie ever made” or “work of genre-redefining brilliance.” Okay, so it’s a great idea. A great idea that never comes … Continue reading

Posted in movies that suck | Leave a comment

Eyes Wide Shut

Neither Nicole Kidman’s tits nor countless scads of other gratuitous nudity are worth the price or time it takes to sit through Eyes Wide Shut. This poorly written excuse for movie in all its surrealistic non-glory plays more like a … Continue reading

Posted in movies that suck | Leave a comment