Author Archives: Jebediah Origami

Being John Malkovich

“Rock’s Chosen Warrior” disliked this film so much that he switched to WWF highlights. The Rock is more entertaining. He has decided that he, “The Lightening of Lancaster” will be the next WWF superstar. Therefore, “The Amish Tornado” shall conduct … Continue reading

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Battlefield Earth

The story goes like this; it is the year 3000. The planet earth has been dominated by the Psychlos. A race of beings that are supposed to be a terrifying menace to all who oppose them. Instead, they look like … Continue reading

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Top 10 List

I was meditating the other day. Whilst contemplating the meaning of Yanni, Guru Sebastian Bach appeared before me. He told me that Hollywood hates us and Gary Coleman is the anti-christ. I feverishly wrote down this apparition’s words.

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End of Days

To paraphrase Ahnold from the kick-ass film, ‘Predator’; “If it sucks, we can film it!”

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Superstar

Every century or so I make a mistake of global proportions. Well, boys and girls,Master Origami just screwed the pooch again! Superstar! SUPERSTAR!

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Shakespeare in Love

by Esther Rodham-Origami One of the most endearing and intelligent romantic comedies of the ’90s, the Oscar-winning Shakespeare in Love is filled with such good will, sunny romance, snappy one-liners, and devilish cleverness that it’s absolutely irresistible. With tongue placed … Continue reading

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Romeo Must Die

It started innocently enough. I heard Jet Li had a new flick out, and I was curious to see what his newest venture had to offer. Mrs. Origami and I jumped into the ol’ horse and buggy and set out … Continue reading

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Boys Don’t Cry

I have to admit my hopes were set kinda high on this one. I mean honestly, lesbians, rednecks, cheap beer, and cows. Sounds like the zany cookouts we have here in Lancaster.

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Krippendorf’s Tribe

This movie would’ve been aptly titled “Crippled Dork’s Bribe”! Who the hell had the bright idea to cast Richard Dreyfuss in anything other than a soup commercial? This guy has the charm and charisma of a sneaker full of dog … Continue reading

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