Author Archives: Johnny Hooper

A forlorn Johnny Hooper reviews “The Pink Panther”

Today, I found your picture in some stuff I was moving to the attic. A shiver immediately worked its way through me, starting first in the middle of my heaving chest and moving outward, through all my extremities.

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Inside the mind of Johnny Hooper as he watches “Skeleton Key”

Whew, okay… barely made it in time. Good thing there are about 15 minutes of previews nowadays. God, this fake trailer about shutting your cell phone off– it always gets me! What is that crap under my feet? Oh, old … Continue reading

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Johnny Hooper’s clone reviews “The Island”

I don’t mean to be one of these malcontented clones that bitches constantly about doing all the “work work work work work work work” while our original versions have all the Bacchantic, hedonist fun there is to be had, generally. … Continue reading

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Herbie’s review of his movie

Okay, so the movie starts and I’m trying to get out of the clutches of this evil tow truck guy, right? How this fat yahoo got me up on this fucking thing in the first place, I’m embarrassed to tell … Continue reading

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