movies that suck

Juwanna Mann

As I sat and watched the credits roll on Juwanna Mann, I couldn’t make up my mind what was more unbelievable: that I actually made it to the credits, that a man could successfully disguise himself and play in a women’s basketball league, or that the WNBA could fill an entire arena with screaming fans.

Here are some alternate (and more useful) activities for those trapped at home with nothing on the tube but the WNBA:

-Fashion rubber bands into earthworm suspenders and tube-tops

-Build a lifesize colon replica with your kid’s Legos and then violate it with a swimming pool noodle

-Play tetherball on ‘shrooms

-Teach your dog how to spread the peanut butter, not just lick it off

-Thumb wrestle with your ego

-Trim your pubes into the silhouette of your favorite war criminal or movie critic

-Eat at Joe’s, don’t just read about it

-Kill yourself or someone else in the most fiscally irresponsible manner possible

-Masturbate to “August” in your local Humane Society calendar

-Seduce a televangelist, preferably Robert Tilton